Yes, I do therapy for unmarried couples! But I still believe in marriage.

Yes, I do couples' counseling with unmarried couples! Marriage is becoming so rare in areas of our culture that I see about half married and half unmarried couples. This is the direction my profession is moving in, and the world as well, but "going with the crowd" is not why I see unmarried couples. To put it simply, I see my job as to help those who are hurting, and so I don't turn down anyone whom I have the skill to heal, including couples who are unmarried. Also, I don't push unmarried couples to get married, because if I act like that, I'm not meeting my clients where they are, and why would they stick around?

But I still believe in marriage! Why? Because I believe 100% in the principle that commitment, as well as trust, is essential to a lasting and healthy relationship. The research of Drs. John and Julie Gottman has made that very clear. Without the commitment of being together for life, why would a relationship last? It's undermined from the start! Now, I have personal beliefs about marriage, but this thing is so clear that I don't need to bring in my beliefs to deal with the common excuses:

People often say, well it's just a piece of paper. It often is, and when people treat marriage with that sort of attitude, they usually get divorced. So that's not a reason to dismiss marriage. Some people say that if they got married to their partner, they would stop getting government benefits. This is true, that our government penalizes marriage, especially when children and mothers need Medicaid. But the government's positions shouldn't shape our personal beliefs, so that doesn't work as a good reason either. Lastly, some have been wounded by previous marriages in which the legal implications of marriage made the breakup needlessly painful, and possibly unfair. But in my experience, marriage therapy can turn around the most unsatisfying marriages that are at the brink of divorce, creating a new and satisfying experience of emotional closeness. So that's no excuse to dismiss marriage either.

Yes! I do couples' counseling for unmarried couples. Please reach out with the form on this site, my email, or my phone. Married or unmarried, however, I am going to challenge any couple who comes to me for therapy to examine their attitude toward commitment and trust, because that is part of the healing change that not only puts out the fires in the here-and-now. It provides the foundation for a beautiful future together. Don't you want that?